Choosing Santa over reality

This year again, I think it's time Daughter is on to the Santa ruse. She's now eight. I shouldn't be able to fool her any longer. I'm not even trying to fool her. But I have found her self-sustained Santa myths too amusing to want to bust her bubble. This evening, Christmas eve, she might have caught me red-handed, scissors, gift wrap and tape strewn all over the floor as I wrapped gifts. But no. Instead, she never lowered her gaze to the floor to see what I was doing. She didn't glance at the dining table to see if Santa had indeed stopped by and consumed the cookies she left out for him. She didn't check to see if I kept my word and put out the cup of milk I said I would. She didn't take a peek at the tree to see if gifts had been delivered. She simply delivered her message, with chin up. Her brother had fallen asleep on the floor and she needed me to move him. Quick about-turn, she went back up the stairs.

It struck me as very unusual for a child who is giddy with anticipation about Santa's arrival to show no curiousity whatsoever about the status of his arrival. Then it struck me. She doesn't want the truth. The myth is too much fun and she's going to hold on to it for as long as she can. If it means experiencing selective blindness when she runs into me wrapping gifts, then so be it.

Scientists have shown that one of the major functions of our brain is to rationalize our actions. Research also shows that ability to rationalize is directly correlated with happiness. Which totally makes sense when you consider that the child who ignores evidence to the contrary and takes pure delight in gifts from the north pole will likely be happier than the one who is grappling with the lies told by society and experiencing irritation with those who continue to hold on to the lies.

So I'm happy that my daughter chooses to be happy instead of right this Christmas.

Merry Christmas!!!

Learning and attitude

My 3rd grade daughter has an assignment to turn in tomorrow for her advanced reading class. She needs to use a couple of idioms in sentences, but she is not yet done. This work was assigned two weeks ago, but she didn't feel the pressure of getting it done until I asked about it on the drive home from school. She immediately blamed her teacher. "I finished my work early and asked my teacher if I could do it but she said no." She felt it was unfair.

I thought the teacher could say no for a variety of reason. "But what matters is that you do finish it before tomorrow. Did you bring it home?" She didn't. But she recalls the listed idioms which is great because she could still write her sentences on unofficial paper. Better that than nothing.

I still need to learn how to strike the right balance when it comes to helping my daughter to organize (tracking her homework and due dates for her) versus letting her learn to organize (and suffer the consequences of being disorganized). I think 3rd grade is not a bad place to suffer some poor grades (missed assignments) for the greater good, but I wonder if that's an unreasonable expectation for her age and personality. What I am getting better at is setting up the right attitude, a happy mood, before proceeding with teaching.

My daughter tells me she's having a difficult time coming up with a sentence using the idiom, "egg on your face". I ask her to try something anyhow. She does but I don't think it's good enough. At this point, she has started and stopped a couple of crying sessions and she's now ready to throw in the towel. Her meltdown is interfering with my plan to snuggle on the couch for a few minutes pre dinner prep to recover from my stressful day. All she seems capable of uttering now is "I can't!" or "I don't know!"

I take a deep breath. I ask her to do the same. "I don't want to!" Big sobs.
I worry there's something else going on. She nods and tells me how a football had mistakenly hit her that day in the gym. Globs of tears. My fears are allayed. But I see there will be no headway while she felt crappy. I asked her what good thing happened. She told me her class had met one of their goals and would get a reward. She said that made her happy, but she said it with the most sorrowful face you can imagine.

"We can't do this!" I exclaimed in exasperation. "Your sad face has sent your brain into hiding!" I then explained to her in all seriousness how (1) I could end the drama by giving her a sentence. But I would be robbing her a chance to learn. (2) To figure it out, her brain was required to do some hard work, try, fail, try, get a little better. (3) When her face is sad, her brain goes into hiding because it is afraid there is danger around. (4) When her face is happy, her brain comes out and prances around, thinking it must be sunny and time to play. (5) The active brain plays with difficult problems and finds solutions.

She is all smiles now. She starts to suggest sentences. She eventually comes up with something suitable. I love the brain hide or play analogy because it is sooo true and because it connected with my daughter. Another tool in my parenting kit.

Nuggets of inspiration from Mark Cuban

It's December. As you take stock of the current year and start thinking of goals to create or renew for the new year, there's nothing better than learning from those who have been successful and examining how you can apply their lessons in your own life. So when I was asked to do a blog post about Mark Cuban's new ebook, "How To Win At The Sport Of Business: If I Can Do It, You Can Do It", I immediately grabbed a copy which intended to read it 'later', when less busy. I was only going to take a peek for now, but I ended up reading the entire book. Mark Cuban is a successful business man and owner of Dallas Mavericks and HDNet. 
   
The book is a collection of some of his blog posts and detail his journey to success as well as lessons he learned along the way. If you own your own business, or thinking about it or you're not sure what you want to do, you will find useful advice in the book.   
   
When you're a mom, there are many demands at home that pose a challenge to running a business. You will not have the ability to spend 24 hours focused on that business like single 20-something year old college grad. But Mark advices, "Find something you love to do, can do on your own and doesn’t require any more capital than you can afford to lose personally. The most valuable asset you have is your time, talents and ability to communicate. Focus on those strengths and what you can do rather than what you can’t do."
   
The book will inspire you, make you think and challenge any excuses you have for not starting a business. For example, are you waiting for funding? Don't.
   
Want to learn more? Get your copy on anywhere eBooks are sold: Amazon, BN.com, and sites that support independent bookstores.
   
I will receive two Landmark movie tickets to give to readers for sharing the HDNet Movies Kid Scene link.